Touch
by cassette tape
Summary: "Every time Kurt touches someone, he gets a flash of a horrible secret that they're hiding." Based on the prompt over at the Glee angst meme.


**Super mega warning of doom: **there's a lot of dark stuff in this. Trigger warning – rape, eating disorder, self infliction and verbal/physical abuse. It's pretty detailed, at least, as detailed as I thought I could make it without it being creepy. This will most likely have three parts with the other characters coming in the next couple chapters. Anyway, don't own Glee or the characters, and hopefully you enjoy the angst that is this story.

This is based on a prompt at the glee angst meme over at Livejournal (.?thread=13857919#t13857919): _Kurt wakes up one morning, not knowing anything's changed from the night before. He goes about his morning routine as usual but when he's making breakfast, Finn tries to steal some turkey bacon, Kurt slaps his hand. That's normal. The flash that Kurt gets when he touches Finn isn't. He sees his stepbrother being held down by a football player while another rapes him in the locker room.___

_Kurt did his best to shrug it off. It was just some weird horrible daydream, of daynightmare, because he knows Finn and there was no way Finn would be able to hide something like that. He gets to school and is paired with Puck for an assignment in Chemistry class. Puck grins at him, holds his fist out for him to bump it, and Kurt does. He gets another flash, this time of Puck kneeling in front of a toilet with his finger shoved down his throat.___

_Every time Kurt touches someone, he gets a flash of a horrible secret that they're hiding. Some people don't have those kinds of secrets but some people have more than one._

_Finn_

Kurt Hummel never likes to over sleep. It's lazy and gross, and Kurt is neither of those things, which is why he's always up before seven on weekdays. Not only that, but the day ahead of him is full of many things: making sure his outfit and hair are nothing but perfect, figuring out a way to make a shortcut past the dumpster to avoid him being violently thrown in it, and of course, breakfast, which Kurt is always concerned about since he needs energy for the school day to clean slushies of said perfect outfit, and trying his hardest not to listen to Rachel Berry's ever so screeching voice about how all solos belong to her. Surprisingly, Finn stumbles down the stairs a few minutes after Kurt's meal has been prepared, which is more than unusual, but the young Hummel ignores it.

"Mornin'," Finn mumbles, his hair a mess and his hands rubbing his eyes.

Raising an eyebrow, Kurt replies. "Normally your mother drags you out of bed by your hair, so this is a shock."

Finn does nothing but blink a few times. "Mm, food? Gimme," the taller boy says, his voice is croaky and it screams that Finn was up until two in the morning paying _Halo_. Without Kurt's permission, he leans down to grab the plate of turkey bacon, his hand barely on the platter before he receives a playful smack from Kurt.

"Finn, you can't just-"

But it stops there, like, _literally_, everything stops right at that moment and suddenly, he's not in his kitchen anymore. There's air is whizzing around him, and Kurt's feels like he's spinning, or what's around him is whirling, and it's just making no sense at all. No, he's at school, in that dreaded locker room where on more than one occasion bad memories were made, but what's in front of him puts them all to shame, and Kurt feels like he doesn't even have a right to complain about his unfortunate past. Finn's there, with two football players by his side, but it isn't normal, and it isn't something that Finn Hudson should be involved in. The biggest football player has Finn pinned to one of the benches, one hand on his hips while the other pulls his shorts down. Finn struggles, no words are coming out of him, just grunts and groans, but his complaints aren't helping. Eventually, his shorts are finally off and are thrown to the side, and no no no, his boxers are slowly being dragged off as well and carelessly hit the floor.

Finn's suddenly got his voice back and he's screaming for some other outcome. "Don't! Seriously, stop it, it's not funny anymore! This isn't a joke! Get the fuck _off_ me."

The smaller football player just shakes his head, his blonde hair tossing a little. "Fuck off, Hudson. Your little faggot brother loves this, so why wouldn't you?"

"Don't call him that!" Finn retorts, and even though Kurt has no fucking idea what he's seeing, he feels some sort of contentment that Finn's there, defending him.

"You need to shut that mouth," the bigger replies, "before we stuff it with something instead, you got it?"

"Fuck you," Finn spits, and with that, Finn's having everything taken away from him. The tiny boy who looks like he's capable of nothing (he's got some muscles, sure, but this – it seems too farfetched for it to be true) is on top of Finn, his own pants and boxers down, slamming into Kurt's brother. He's hard and fast, and his hand grabs Finn's hair, gripping it so tight Kurt worries it'll all fall out. "No, stop," Finn whimpers, and he's genuinely crying, tears are just pouring out of him and God, what the fuck does Kurt do? What in the fuck is he even looking at and how does he stop it? But despite Kurt's worries, Finn Hudson, is there, _right in front of him_, getting raped. Finn's trying to move from the position, he's shaking and turning but the four hands on his body keep him down. "S-stop it, please," Finn mutters, "I won't tell anyone, just stop… just stop!" He suddenly yells, and it's then that he fills the locker rooms with uncontrollable sobs. "Please, I haven't done anything! You can't do this to me! Please!"

But his rapist isn't listening: instead, his eyes are shut and he's whispering vulgar comments about how "good and tight" and "hot, so hot" Finn is and Kurt wants to throw up and then grab Finn and then run home where Kurt would willingly give him his bacon.

"I want my mum," Finn sobs, and the two boys finally respond with a harsh laughs that Kurt's thankful fill the room, because at least his brother's crying is sort of killed off, even if it's just for a little while.

"Aw, I want your mummy too," the blonde replies, leaning down to whisper into Finn's neck, slamming into him just has hard as before.

But Kurt's eyes open and what the fuck… he's back in his kitchen, and Finn, poor, poor Finn is just standing there, mouth open, looking all sorts of confused.

"Dude, are you okay?" Finn asks. "… You can keep the bacon if you really want."

"What happened to you? Are you okay?" Kurt whispers quickly.

Eyes darting side to side, Finn shrugs. "What are you talking about? Nothing happened to me, I was worried about _you_, bro. You just closed your eyes and stood there for like, an hour. Well not really an hour but it was super long-"

"What the hell happened to you?" The pale skinned boy replies. "I… I saw you. I mean… Wait, I just… zoned out?"

His brother nods. "Yeah, you hit me and then… I dunno. It looked like you were kinda sleeping." Suddenly Finn looks worried. "Dude, should I get your dad? He's in the backyard."

Sighing out of relief, Kurt shakes his head. It must have been a weird as hell day dream or something: it was vivid and it made no sense, so what else could it have been? Besides, Finn is… Finn, and Finn's far too strong to let something like that happen to him and not talk about to anyone. He can be a little slow at times, but if something that big, that impacting on Finn's life and everyone's around him, there's no chance he's keep to himself. But still, deep down Kurt can't shake the thought of how real it felt, and how Finn's face revealed absolute terror. He forces the feeling away, though. "No, no, Finn. I'm fine, sorry. My dad keeps saying all my hair products will go to my head," Kurt smiles, "looks like foreshadowing is one of his many talents."

Finn raises one eyebrow, a look of confusion that was familiar to Kurt. "…. Foreshadowing?"

_Puck_

"Hummel, Puckerman, get to work," Kurt's Chemistry teacher orders, and both boys nod in agreement. Kurt watches as Noah Puckerman strolls over to him, grin on his face.

"Dude, this is great," Puck smiles, "so glad I didn't get stuck with Jewfro."

"Aren't we all?" Kurt laughs.

"Bump it, son," Puck offers, his hand made into a fist.

Kurt normally doesn't 'bump it,' considering how tacky it is, but Puck is staring at him with an ever so growing smile, so he just gives in. Mimicking the same movement as his friend with the mohawk, Kurt moves in to clash fists, despite how awkward he feels about it. When their hands meet, Kurt can't help but close his eyes, a strong rush felt around him like earlier with Finn, it feels like a strong breeze, and Kurt is instead brought back to a bathroom. He's staring into the titled room, but it's neither his, nor anyone's his seen before. Kurt closes his eyes once more, trying to get back to reality, back to Chemistry and back to Puck, but then he sees the person he's looking for suddenly.

Puck is on his knees, one hand on the toilet seat, the other resting on his lips. He's sobbing, his head shaking with small sentences falling from his mouth. "Fucking dad," he says, "never fucking good enough for you, am I?" Kurt feels like he did earlier with Finn, like he's in the room with Puck but he's not _really_, and even so, he can't speak or grab the boy and ask him what's wrong. Soon Puck is talking again, his voice beginning to grow in tone. "Is that why you took off, you prick? Because of me? Because I don't look the way you want me to? What the fuck do you want me to do?" He yells, standing up, his hand grabbing some shampoo bottles and throwing them around. "You think I wanted to look like this? You think," he gets back on his knees, "I fucking," he fingers creep up to his mouth slowly, "like this?" And now they're down his throat with Puck's eyes dripping tears. He shoves them down as far as he can before they're quickly pulled out, and Puck begins to vomit. He coughs uncontrollably for a minute before he settles, his body lowering to the tiled floor. "Fuck you, dad," he whispers.

The boy slowly gets up, wiping his tears before strolling over to sink and drinking water from the tap. He spits it back out, and then his dark eyes slowly meet the mirror in front of him. Kurt's mind is there, but his body isn't, so he can't help him at all. But he simply cannot believe that he just watched Noah Puckerman do that, because Jesus fuck, he's kinda of beautiful, really.

"You're ugly," Puck tells himself in the mirror. "You're disgusting, no one wants you. At all. They all leave, just like your dad." Puck rests one hand on the mirror, his eyes and cheeks stained with tears. "You're never gonna get out of this body until you die," he starts to sob, "you're gonna be stuck like this, looking like this, forever. I don't even know why girls like you, you're fucking repulsive." And then Puck stands there, head against the mirror while the sobs fall out of him, as if on cue, as if it happens every fucking night, and Kurt honestly believes it does. His head is telling him to do something, to help the crying male in front of him, but Kurt can't move, and everything is getting blurry, and-

"Dude, what the fuck? Are you okay? Shit, back up Jewfro, he doesn't need you creeping." He hears Puck say.

Kurt's lying down on something, something hard and uncomfortable, and when he opens his eyes he's met with Puck's. This time, however, they're not red, and his skin isn't blotchy with tears like before, like in the bathroom, and he isn't even there anymore. He's lying on the Chemistry room floor, instead, and Puck's slowly lifting him up. "What… what happened?"

Puck shakes his head. "You fainted or something. You touched me and then you just… bro, you blacked out totally. Had us all worried," he adds with a smile. "Can you walk? I'm taking you to the nurse's office, okay?"

"… What?"

"Come on," he replies, one hand on his shoulder, the other grabbing Kurt's bag. The two slowly walk to their destination, but Kurt isn't ready to let go of Puck just yet.

"Are you okay?" Kurt whispers half way down the hall.

Puck looks up. "Hm? Dude, I'm cool. You're not that heavy."

The heavy comment makes Kurt wince. "No, I meant… I don't know what I meant," he mutters. "My head hurts."

Nodding, Puck pushes the nurse's door open with his foot, pulling Kurt in. "We're here now, it's all good." The nurse quickly sits up from her desk, her eyes on Kurt who must look like Hell because she rushes over in a second, but Kurt's still not ready to have Puck all on his own yet. "Will you be okay?"

One hand on his sore head, Kurt nods. "Yes. I mean no. I mean… fuck."

"Do you need me to say?"

But Kurt ignores that question, because no, he doesn't need him to stay, he just needs to make sure Puck isn't going to do what he did before. At least what Kurt thought he saw him do before. "This is going to sound… completely… gay, if you will," Kurt says, trying to get his words right, because this is one of the guys who gave him shit all the same because of his sexuality. "But um… you're perfect, Puck," he whispers.

Puck raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"You're beautiful, and I say that in the least creepiest way possible," Kurt tells him.

"How hard did you hit your head?" Puck laughs. "I'm a stud, bro, I already know that."

With that, Puck leaves, and Kurt just wants to sleep, just forget about what he saw happen to Finn and what he just witnessed Puck do. However, part of him knows it isn't over.

_Quinn_

Kurt left the nurse's office without permission because really, he was just kind of tired and his head hurt a little, and the fear in him told him to get the fuck out and figure out what was happening to him. He recalls how when he touched Finn he saw _that_, and how when he touched Puck he saw _that_, but it couldn't be possible that with the simple touch of someone else's body, he could witness some sort of alternate universe where they were hurting.

He wants to prove this wrong terribly, because he can't stand to see the people he loves fall to some sort of demon. So when he sees Quinn Fabray walking through the hallways, blonde hair neatly brushed, he rushes to hair. "Quinn," he says.

The girl turns around, small smile on her face, but some concern can also be read. "Hey," she says, "I heard you were sick, what happened?"

Kurt shrugs. "Just… a headache," he says, not quite sure how to explain it.

"Well I hope-"

But Kurt just touches her arm instead of listening to her, and he feels kind of bad that's he's trying to shut off her words until he's met with the familiar rush of movement he's not the cause of. He's thrown around until he sees the blonde he was once talking to is on the bathroom floor, and shit, it's happening again. Kurt's seeing things he shouldn't be seeing and he has no idea how to stop them.

Quinn's sitting there silently on the tiles, and Kurt thinks she might be doing what Puck had done previously, and he screams in his head that she won't because Quinn's by far one of the prettiest girls he's ever seen. But that's when he notices the bump on her stomach, a small one though, and he sees that Quinn's face looks a lot younger, more refreshed. She begins to take her dress off, rolling the sleeves down just past to her hips so she can feel her stomach, and Quinn caresses the skin on there for a little while. She hums softly, her eyes staring at the wall in front of her, and never meeting the bump below her eyes.

Kurt's confused, because Quinn can't possibly be pregnant again, and he knows she won't make that mistake once more. With the two incidents before him, Kurt's head was already spinning, but now he's seeing things that happened months, nearly more than a year ago.

But Quinn's somewhat content face disappears once she looks down to meet her growing stomach. Instead, her eyes turn a dark colour and her lips turn into an unpleasant snarl. "I can't have a baby," she whispers, "Prom Queen cannot have a baby, the president of the Celibacy club cannot have a baby, _Quinn Fabray_ cannot. Have. A. Baby." Warning bells begin to go off in Kurt's head as he watches Quinn take a deep, long sigh that he knows is the beginning of something big. Soon, her little hands are clenching a pair of scissors Kurt had not seen before. Quinn's breathing in and out now harshly while both hands grip the sharp metal, dragging it down past her belly button.

The scissors gently trace her skin, leaving a small mark, no cuts or blood, just a small recognition that something harsh has ruined the soft, silky skin of Quinn Fabray. She lets a loud sob escape from her as she holds the scissors tighter, her hands starting to turn red with each gasp she takes. "You can do it," she whispers, "it's nothing, you can do it."

But her fingers are slipping, and her cries are getting so loud that she coughs and chokes. She throws the scissors to the other side of the bathroom with a loud "fuck!" that hurts Kurt's ears and heart. "Why are you doing this me, God?" She yells, her cross ripped from her neck, and instead placed to her bare chest. "What have I done?"

Suddenly the door opens, and Quinn's mother is standing there, mouth open and eyes wide. "Quinn? Honey? What's wrong why? Why are you… why are you crying?"

Quinn shakes her head at the sight of her mother and runs back to the scissors she tossed earlier. "I'm so sorry, mum," she sobs. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"What? Why? Put the scissors down, sweetie," her mother says gently, "just come over to mummy and I'll make it better."

"I love you!" She yells, the scissors so close to her skin, so close to ripping everything apart with just that one item.

"Stop it, no!" And Quinn's mother runs so fast she nearly slips on the clean tiles. She pulls the scissors from her, throwing them into the bath tub before bringing her daughter close to her in a tight embrace. "Quinn… what… I don't-"

"Please don't kick me out, mum!" Quinn screams into her shoulder. "Please, I love you and daddy so much. I made a mistake! Please, just let me stay here, let Finn help, let Puck help…"

"Shh, honey," the older Fabray whispers in reply, "I love you, too. It's okay, it's okay. We won't kick you out, darling, don't worry."

But Kurt knows that's a complete lie. When he's back to the present, Quinn's looking at him curiously.

"Kurt?" She asks. "Are you okay? Do you need to see the nurse again?"

But Kurt can't help but look down at her stomach that's now flat and has no sign of a previous pregnancy. He can't help but just stare and think about what might have been, what she could have done in that bathroom, and fuck, he's acting like it really _did_ happen. "I… What? Why? What?"

Raising an eyebrow, Quinn speaks again. "I'm taking you back to the nurse, Kurt. Look at you, you look like you're about to collapse or something," she says, reaching out for his arm.

"No," he snaps, stepping back, avoiding her touch. He's not sure if the scenes are triggered from him just touching someone, or if it's possible for someone else to start them up. And what if they touch Kurt? Can they see into his thoughts and past? Was what he was seeing even accurate? "Stay away from me, Quinn. I-"

She looks a little offended. "But Kurt-"

"I love you, Quinn," he says suddenly, an attempt to console her and everything he saw in that bathroom. "I mean I… I gotta go."

_Brittany_

Kurt isn't sure how he got of the school without touching anyone, but he made it, and he's proud. Now he's going to go home and sleep and wake up to a fresh new day where this nightmare will finally end. He's walking to his car as quick as he can, his boots making a familiar sound on the pavement, and he's not going to stop until he gets in his vehicle and the fuck away from everyone he cares about. He's scared, genuinely scared, because what he's seeing in his mind is so vivid and in his face that he wants to cry. But it can't be true, it can't, because Finn, Puck and Quinn are strong people with strong hearts, and nothing can get to them. The porcelain skinned boy is a few meters away from his car when he hears it.

"Kurt?"

The boy whips his head around and comes face to face with Brittany S. Pierce. She looks confused and worried, and Kurt needs to go before anything else happens, but her features make it impossible. "Brit, hi," he starts, "what are you doing out here?"

"What are _you_ doing out here?" She asks.

Kurt sighs. This was expected. "I'm sick, sweetie, so I'm going home. You should get back inside."

"Why are you sick?"

"I'm-"

"Can I come with you?" She interrupts.

Shaking his head, Kurt replies. "No, Brit, no. Santana wants you, she's inside: go look for her."

"If Santana wanted me she'd come get me," Brittany nods. "Sometimes she gets me in the middle of class and we go to the bathroom and we-"

"Brit, please," Kurt pleads, his eyes large, "I need to get home."

"Can I come with you?" She asks again.

"No," he rolls his eyes. But she steps closer to him, and Kurt quickly takes a step back.

"But I want to," the blonde girls pouts

"Brit-"

"Principal Figgins is behind you," Brittany says, her eyes no longer on Kurt's, but the space behind him.

"What?" Kurt snaps worriedly, he knows that if the principal finds him skipping then his dad and Carol will get called down and then they'll touch him and then- He looks behind him, and of course, Brittany would lie about something like that. "No he's not Br-"

But she jumps at him, a smile on her face. "Now you have no choice," she says happily as she clings to his waist.

It's a total accident. He's in shock at Brittany's sudden prance and his hand suddenly touches her shoulder. Before he can say anything, he's in a room with floral wallpaper and photos all across the place. There's a cat on the bed that's a little larger than the average one, but Kurt just scans over that all quickly, his eyes are instead on Brittany sitting at her desk who has a content smile on her face.

She's humming happily, one hand playing with her hair while the other is writing out something on a notepad.

"Brittany!" Some yells from downstairs.

She immediately sits up straight. "Yes, daddy?" She calls.

"What the fuck is this?" He calls, the voice getting closer, and suddenly there's a tall man with dark bright entering Brittany's room.

The tall girl stands up quickly when he comes in. "What is it, daddy?"

"It's your fucking math quiz; I found it in your bag."

"You want through my bag?" She asks.

Her dad's eyes narrows. "I have every fucking right."

"Please stop swearing," She whispers, "Swearing means you're angry, daddy, and I don't like it when-"

"Shut up."

"Sorry."

The man doesn't accept the apology though. "You failed your math quiz. _Again_."

Brittany shrugs. "I know, daddy. I just don't get it. Math is really hard, and the people in my class call me stupid whenever I don't understand anything."

Eyes rolling, her dad replies to her. "I don't blame them. Why can't you be more like your sister, you stupid bitch?" He asks. "She's going off to college soon and you… What are you doing with your life? Besides looking after your fucking cat?"

"Leave Lord Tubbington out of this," Brittany snaps. "He's a good cat."

"You're an idiot, Brittany," her father shakes his head, "and we try _so_ hard to get your grades up, and what do you do? Nothing. Look at all these books we give you," he continues, walking by her bookshelf, "we buy you countless things to read to get you at least near average, and still: no result."

"Daddy, I'm sorry. They're hard to read," she pleads.

"That's because you're fucking stupid," he snaps. "Try being like your sister for once, would ya?"

"Kathy is mean," Brittany shrugs. "Whenever she comes over she teases me about my grades and about glee club."

"Fuck glee club!" He snaps, grabbing one of the grammar and punctuation books on the shelf. "What's singing and dancing gonna do for ya, huh?"

"But I like dancing. You never watch me at my competitions, neither does mum. It makes me happy when I dance-"

But instead he throws the book at her, hitting her on the face. It's hard and with so much force that Brittany stumbles back and hits the corner of her desk with a gasp. "Do you think we care about what makes you happy Brittany? We have a reputation, Christ!" He throws another book, this time a Math one, and it hits her on the side of the head. "Don't fuck up anymore, you got it?"

"I don't like it when you throw things at me, daddy," Brittany whimpers.

"Maybe if you got some fucking brains, I wouldn't enjoy it so much."

When Kurt opens his eyes, he's face to face with Brittany.

"Are you dead?" She asks.

"Brit-" He starts before what he saw previously sinks in. It only takes a second but anger is rushing through him so fast he's worried he might actually hurt someone. "What the fuck is wrong with your dad?" He spits.

Brittany's head tilts. "My dad is a lawyer."

"Ah… Brit," he starts, his voice calming, "does he… does he, you know…" He figures asking Brittany of all people for the truth will make things clearer. Brittany's not an idiot, Kurt's sure of it, but she trusts people easily and right now, that side of her is perfect. "Does he hit you?"

Her eyes lower and she shakes her head furiously. "No. No. No."

"You can tell me, honey," he whispers, and he wants to reach out to touch her, to show some sort of comfort, but he can't risk seeing all _that_ again, because he knows he'll get his dad's shotgun or something. And then he thinks of his dad: what will Kurt see when he touches him? And Carol, too? And Tina, and God, Mercedes, fuck it, what about Blaine? "I promise, I won't hurt you, I wanna help."

"Book's hurt," Brittany murmurs, her eyes filling with tears. "Especially that book about a mockingbird. Birds are meant to be nice."

"Oh, honey," Kurt whispers, and with that comment from Brittany, all has been confirmed: that Brittany's dad is a dick and Kurt's not going to let anything else happen to his ex-girlfriend. "He won't be touching you anymore."

"The bird?" Brittany asks.

"Yes, sweetie, the bird."


End file.
